Wednesday, January 21, 2015


Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to truly see life through my own eyes. It's so easy to focus on what other people are thinking and seeing, that sometimes I forget to look over my nose at what is right in front of me.

I wouldn't call it naivety or obliviousness. Might not even think of it as short-sightedness. Just an inherent vision flaw. I'm not sure what it is, or if I can see it.

What can't I see, if I can't see it?

Sunday, January 18, 2015

the loneliness destroys me

Saturday, January 17, 2015


It's been 5 days, and I'm still floating on some sort of high from the game. Not only did the Buckeyes win, but they dominated. It should definitely go down as one of the most compelling seasons in college football history, especially overcoming the loss of both starting and backup QB and having the third stringer fill in so admirably. Cardale Jones, regardless of whether he plays another snap at OSU or not, will go down as one of the greatest heroes in Ohio State history. But the true glory has to go to the offensive line and the defense. We all knew Ezekiel Elliott was a beast of a running back, he just needed the line to make things happen for him. And while the defense struggled early, they put the lock on a dominant Wisconsin ground game before stopping the #2 and #1 passers in the country in Blake Sims and Heisman winner Marcus Mariota. Truly inspirational.

It's still hard to believe. But it's pretty dang awesome. So before I get too deep into my own mind, I'm going to enjoy this for what it was: a thing of beauty enjoyed with my best friend and great company.

Go Bucks :)

Monday, January 12, 2015

Title, National

Today is a massive day. Ohio State, my Ohio State Buckeyes, are playing in the first ever College Football Playoff National Championship Game. The Buckeyes had been to 3 BCS title games in the past, going 1-2. This team battled through losing their starting QB in spring, to losing their second QB (who notably put up the best passing year in school history...) in the big rivalry game, to win the B1G Championship and to shock the world and knock off the #1 seed (and a team who was being compared to NFL teams..........) in Alabama on January 1st.

Today, they face the team that I had called winning in all several weeks into the season. The Oregon Ducks, who have history against them as the Buckeyes beat them in the 2010 Rose Bowl as 5 point underdogs. This Oregon teams sports the Heisman Trophy winner and just lambasted an undefeated Florida State squad to make it to the title game. It's all or nothing - the game to end all games. Regardless of the outcome, this is a historical matchup, and I truly hope that we can come out on top.

I am grateful to have the chance to watch the game with my best friend and some others. I have so much more to write about from 2014 (already) but I feel that today is a day for preparation and celebration. With that being said, Go Buckeyes!

Friday, January 9, 2015


I hate crying. I hate the feeling of exposure and weakness. Sometimes I will cry simply to force out the bad feelings, but I hate it.

One of the worst things about it is how miserable it makes me feel. In that misery, I am reminded of people who I have made cry in my life. The thought that I could be the cause of those feelings is absolutely debilitating to my soul. How could I ever be such a foul and evil creature?

Even worse is the fact that I still talk to some of these people who I have brought to painful tears. I wonder if they have forgiven me, or have just pushed the pain aside and live with a lingering pain because of me.

I must be the worst person in the world. And all because something else is making me cry.

I feel awful.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

A sum of my own words

I feel like there were times in my life where I could have passed for a decent writer. In my high school days, I used to write passionately about things like history and politics, but I was more interested in poetry. That love of poetry turned into the current music obsession I have these days, and I feel I am probably best suited to write about music or sports or some amazing mix of the two (imagine that!).

The issue I find myself facing is that writing has been destroyed by the power of the internet. There are still plenty of good writers out there, but the necessity to grab the attention of the readers (or clickers, I suppose) has surpassed the necessity for good articles. It's possible that I am just desensitized by the amount of stupidity that floats around the world these days, but I am rarely "mind blown". My jaw does not often drop. I do not find myself speechless by many things, and I actually know what the word "priceless" means. It's possible that these terms are better suited for high schoolers and college kids (who, I suppose, are the target market for most things in this country), but I simply could not find it within myself to lower myself to such click-baiting ways.

Therefor, my aspirations in writing fine articles find themselves shelved. Perhaps radio and television are still my destiny. As I reach 29, I find that I still have plenty to say and an ample audience to use those words on. There are just some days that I wish for more.

More, more, more.

Monday, January 5, 2015


If ever I cannot sleep, could it possibly be because I do not wish to wake?

Follow that line of logic as far as you wish. I am still just as tired.